My Dad likes to tell the story about how I started singing. It was in a little one-room wooden church up the street from our house. It had tiny pews and lots of stained glass. Our next door neighbor was the Pastor, and on Sundays my Dad would take my brother and me to the service. He liked it there, my Father, even though it was a Nazarene bible church and we were technically Catholic. It was uplifting, lot’s of singing and “Amens!” When he recounts the story it’s always the same, his round face lights up and he says how cute I was and that even though I was little, I sang louder than everyone else in the row. The B-I-B-L-E was the song. I still remember how it goes.
Singing is a part of every memory I have practically. It’s the constant in every era. And it always brought me joy, and a sense of belonging. I can remember singing on cruise ships in the 90’s. An older dancer in the cast said to me that I sing to center myself and that he could see it. I don’t know if I understood what he meant, I was too young, but I get it now, and he was right. Back then, the only time I felt calm was when I sang.
It was something I could do better than most, and in a lot of ways it was the only thing I could totally count on to be there. My voice. Have voice, will travel.
That was a million songs ago…
I got a call on Friday evening to sing the National Anthem for the PBR (Professional Bull Riders) Championship at Madison Square Garden. It was a grapevine call. Someone got a call, that called someone, who called me. Now, you could say because I’ve been doing this so long and have a decent reputation, that I’ve earned getting the call to sing at the Garden, and you’d be right about that. And I thought of that when I accepted the gig for no pay. It’s the Garden, it’ll be televised on NBC, I’m down for the experience, everything is NOT about money.
Now, I’ve sung the Anthem for the NFL before, and not only do they pay, (and well), they send a black car, they comp box seats for you, and your whole crew, they feed you, and generally show you a good time from beginning to end. I like the NFL, they’re a class act.
And although I knew it wasn’t the NFL I was showing up for, I didn’t expect what I got.
I DO want to go into it. Oh dear reader, I truly do.
But that’s not why you read these blogs, and I am fully aware of this, so I’ll just get to the point.
I left there with mud on my shoes and a knot in my stomach.
They were so indifferent, so totally ungracious, it was horrible. I showed up, last minute, for free, hung out with the live stock until it was my time to go on, sang, same as I always do, and I didn’t even get a verbal thank you. NOTHING! And I showed myself out. Then, I got home to see it on NBC, and they used the footage from Jewel’s performance the night before. Jewel. ‘Cuz she’s ya know, like, famous. (Oh, and incidentally married to a bull riding champ.)
The reason I even bring this up is because I feel so sick of it. It just left me so disappointed and longing for the days when singing in that little church under my Father’s proud gaze filled me up from my curls to my Mary Jane’s.
I wonder sometimes if I should have let music just be something that I loved from a distance. A place to visit on holiday. A sanctuary for long glorious walks. Perhaps it isn’t something on which to rely. Perhaps I’ve held the gift too tightly.
Anyway…the PBR needs to learn some manners.
And me? I’ll get over it.
What’s a little more manure on my boots?
{ 13 comments }
You may have just described the fall of civilization. I can not believe how poorly you were treated. I think I will forward your blog to Garth and Trisha.
And I grew up being told people from your part of the country were rude. I honestly feel ashamed.
I can only remind you that there are idiots everythwere and you are loved by millions/
that really sucks Cass… i’m sorry you were treated so shabbily… totally classless of them… don’t let the ungrateful minority ruin the positive energy you get/give with your gift… the Bitter End gig’s are just around the corner, hang in there!
Cassidy…they are professional bull riders! They ride bulls…for a living (insert NY, Leah Remini accent here). Don’t let their organization’s lack of respect or appreciation for talent get you down. I know you don’t write these things to hear that you are amazing. But I’m tellin ya anyway! You’ve literally changed lives with your music. That’s some serious stuff. You’ll feel it at the upcoming shows. Especially at Bitter End…I know I’ll be there screaming for ya!
The PBR is appalling. What a bunch of turds.
Southern folks (which I assume run the PBR) usually have much better manners that that. I know firsthand.
Keep telling the truth, girl. Just call them like you see them.
The PBR. That is a whole other breed, especially if you are not used to being around them. I’m shocked, though. Usually those guys are very courteous and have manners. Having grown up in and around rodeos and cowboys, that is shocking to me that you didn’t even get a thank you.
Although you were not treated as you should have been, please don’t let that ruin your opinion of that whole realm. Not everyone is like that. Grant it, if they were going to use Jewel in the broadcast, they should have never told you they were going to use you. That is simply not fair, and not right. But, so goes the tune of the entertainment industry. You have to be really famous and dating Ty Murray, who just happens to be one of the directors and a huge asset to the organization to be chosen. So, of course they would use his pick, if it was even up to him.
Don’t be discouraged, though. You have your own amazing talent, your own accomplishments and your own love of singing to bank on. What more do you need? Let the B-I-B-L-E song be a reminder of your own love of the game.
Cass,
Singing for you is like surfing for me. You sing to center yourself and I surf to do the same. Its the one thing you can rely on to bring you joy, happiness and serenity. Sometimes things happen. In your case it was the PBR being complete assholes and in my case, its when I am no match for the ocean. It totally bums you out and makes you question or second guess why you do what you do. Surfing is whats supposed to make me happiest…ALL the time! When I have a bad day out there, it takes some time to want to go back out and try again. But, I always go back…Don’t let the PBR get you down. Your music literally changes lives! Do you have any idea how amazing that gift is?
The show at Rev Hall was one of the best I’ve ever seen. I think because of the fact that you had so many emotions that just needed to come out…You sang your heart out and were able to release them…Singing is cathartic for you…Seriously, you could feel all those emotions pouring out of you that night and as a result, the show was off the hook and left a lot of us speechless!
Keep your head up girl!
I was at the competition and let me tell you the audience welcomed you with open arms. They cheered for you when you hit that high note. I’m sure many people had goose bumps just as I did while you were singing. Your rendition of the Anthem was perfect and sung as written. You go girl….Sometimes rudeness has to be ignored – consider the source at all times!!
You are a professional singer/songwriter with an amazing talent. I’m sure all your fans agree.
I’ll be at the Bitter End on the 15th to cheer you on. Remember – NOBODY PUTS BABY IN THE CORNER!! Oh, one more thing BOO to the PBR.
ulgh.
When I was informed by a friend of mine you would be singing the Anthem I was really excited. I feel it is rather difficult to sing the Anthem and know most singers butcher it. So all expecting the very BEST since you would be singing, turned on the TV only to realize that someone else was singing it. What happened? And who did sing it was absolutely, positively awful. I had to change the channel. I guess she must have had connections…. How very sad. However, Cass, keep your head of high since I just read that you gave a great rendition. Congratulations!!!
Cass.. Just want you to know that they made a big mistake by having Jewel sing the NA.. It was horrible!!
I am so sorry of the treatment that you received. Your fans know what you can do and we will always be there for you and AR… By the way I sent a nasty email to the PBR Assoc…. Not only did Jewel suck, so does the Assoc…. You’ll be fine.. Good luck at the Bitter End. Wish I could be there to cheer you on!!
I found the announcement in time. We too get NBC here. I tuned in on the wrong channel. I got NFL Giants at Tampa on the stadium instead of PBR at the MSG. I guess I was struggling with a flu, ‘cos I can distinguish between the two sports and venues. And I also missed the sports news. Maybe some kindred spirit can share a video or something.
Here I read “fall of civilisation” in a comment and somewhere else, in a different context, I read “the last days that are worth living in this civilisation”. Both are probably correct.
“Nazarene Bible Church”
Cassidy, was that the church where you also sang Led Zeppelin’s “Thank you”?
“I wonder sometimes if I should have let music just be something that I loved from a distance. A place to visit on holiday. A sanctuary for long glorious walks. Perhaps it isn’t something on which to rely”.
I struggled with similar thoughts as a consumer only. Now I regret not giving myself way to be(come) more than a consumer for a long time. In whichever capacity, maybe I too need(ed) music “to center myself”.
You know Cass, I thought a lot about this blog after reading it. It made me stop and wonder about what life would be like had you not followed the musical path, and it honestly made me sad. I then promptly listened to Broken on my iPod and for a moment, glanced at the newly tattooed diamond still healing my ribs, and smiled. A life changed.
Being southern, I’m appauled that you were treated so poorly by the PBR. Shame on them. It has always been my experience to never trust men who wear tighter jeans than I do anyway!
It’s their loss. Hang in there!
I’VE MET REAL COWBOYS & COWGIRLS FROM MONTANA…THESE FOLKS YOU SANG FOR MUST NOT BE REAL COW-FOLK…THE REAL ONES ARE POLITE & KIND. DON’T LET IT BRING YOU DOWN! THE PEOPLE YOU SANG FOR ARE JUST A LOT OF BULL!@**!
Comments on this entry are closed.